Kevin Holly Glenn
When I think back over 15 years of marriage, I am amazed how much we have changed. We were just kids when we met. Literally. Kevin taught me how to drive! Since then, much to our parent's surprise, we both got Bachelor's degrees (Kevin's in Business and mine in Criminology), and Kevin went on to getting a couple of Master's Degrees from DTS. Over the years many things have changed. He became a pastor at a large church (Pantego Bible Church) and I became a cop (typical pastor's wife job). We went from a duplex to years of apartment security to living with my parents to pay off debt. We've now moved to a great house and currently the have the best dog in the world. But one thing has never changed over all these years...our desire to adopt (as a first choice) over having biological children.
We began down this adoption road over 5 years ago when we set out to adopt the Chinese baby girl I had dreamt of for over 10 years. We of course thought the little girl we had named Hannah would be our first child. After a long, grueling paperwork process, we finally got on the waiting list and have now been waiting for over 3 years with no end in site. At last calculation, at the rate they are giving out babies we will be waiting another 9 years...making the oldest of our family (by far) the youngest.
In 2007, shortly after submitting our paperwork to the Chinese government, I began planning our next adoption. Not feeling led to adopt again in China, but feeling led to save orphans from foreign lands, I found myself researching Ethiopia. It didn't take long for me to fall in love...not only with the children, but the people of this beautiful country. I knew God was calling us to adopt (what was to be our second child) from Ethiopia. However, in 2009 (after much prayer)when we realized things slowed down to a stop in China we began our journey to adopt the baby girl we had already named, Sahara. I'd like to say the process has been easier, but I can't. Since we started this journey, Ethiopia has changed their adoption laws several times...each change making the process more lengthy, more confusing, more expensive and more emotionally taxing.
This adoption journey has been a long one...especially for me. The process of adopting children takes a greater toll on the woman, just as giving birth does. It's just longer! Instead of 9 months, it's been 5 years. A five year journey through an ever-changing international adoption landscape that I was not prepared for. I began this journey believing, having 'given up' the 'right' to bear children of my own in order to rescue orphans, that because I was doing a 'good thing' the journey would be easier. Instead it has been wrought with one detour, canyon, valley and viper pit after the other. It has broken my heart, and sent me to my knees in a pool of tears more times than I can count. As a fellow adoptive mom recently emailed from Ethiopia, "Adoption is not for sissies!"
There are so many children that need homes, so at every adoptive hurdle you can't help but think, "This is so wrong!" On a recent mission trip to Ethiopia, I spent most of my trip thinking just that. It's actually what I titled the picture below. I have had a passion for orphans for a long time, but this little 7-day old princess was the first orphan I ever actually held. After I fed, changed, and rocked this precious one to sleep, sadness overwhelmed me as I suddenly realized that soon my arms would be empty and she would remain motherless for many more months...all because of bureaucratic red tape. It became real. This was the first (amazingly caught in this photo) of many tears that fell as my time with her came to an end. Sensing my inability to hold it together any longer, I gently placed her back into a dirty crib in the corner of a crowded room, in a government orphanage filled with crying babies and not enough caretakers and quickly found an empty room where I could hit my knees. I lost it...bawling and crying out to God, "This is SO WRONG!"
So this begs the question...why IS adoption so difficult? It's only in recent months I have learned the answer to this question that has plagued me for years. I've learned that it's because ADOPTION IS SPIRITUAL WARFARE. And let's face it...war is hard. It's messy. It's not for the faint of heart. But I have decided to remain steadfast in this battle to save my children because I know my own adoption came at a cost. God told his children, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you" (John 14:18). And He did. But the beauty of his redemptive work was not accomplished without pain, suffering, shed blood and scars. Jesus was willing to suffer these so that I could become a child of God...an orphan no longer. And I must be willing to suffer a little to rescue the children God has called me to.
But just like the groans of childbirth, my hope is this pain will become a distant memory when I finally hold my children and the heavens declare them...orphans no longer.
There are so many children that need homes, so at every adoptive hurdle you can't help but think, "This is so wrong!" On a recent mission trip to Ethiopia, I spent most of my trip thinking just that. It's actually what I titled the picture below. I have had a passion for orphans for a long time, but this little 7-day old princess was the first orphan I ever actually held. After I fed, changed, and rocked this precious one to sleep, sadness overwhelmed me as I suddenly realized that soon my arms would be empty and she would remain motherless for many more months...all because of bureaucratic red tape. It became real. This was the first (amazingly caught in this photo) of many tears that fell as my time with her came to an end. Sensing my inability to hold it together any longer, I gently placed her back into a dirty crib in the corner of a crowded room, in a government orphanage filled with crying babies and not enough caretakers and quickly found an empty room where I could hit my knees. I lost it...bawling and crying out to God, "This is SO WRONG!"
So this begs the question...why IS adoption so difficult? It's only in recent months I have learned the answer to this question that has plagued me for years. I've learned that it's because ADOPTION IS SPIRITUAL WARFARE. And let's face it...war is hard. It's messy. It's not for the faint of heart. But I have decided to remain steadfast in this battle to save my children because I know my own adoption came at a cost. God told his children, "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you" (John 14:18). And He did. But the beauty of his redemptive work was not accomplished without pain, suffering, shed blood and scars. Jesus was willing to suffer these so that I could become a child of God...an orphan no longer. And I must be willing to suffer a little to rescue the children God has called me to.
But just like the groans of childbirth, my hope is this pain will become a distant memory when I finally hold my children and the heavens declare them...orphans no longer.
